Let Evening Come: Some Reflections on the First Noble Truth

It's been one year and five months since Kathleen passed, and I want to share with you a poem about her that came to me while I was at Pendle Hill, the Quaker study center near Philadelphia where we were going to celebrate our 20th anniversary.

At the beginning of this month I went to Pendle Hill to attend a meeting of the Quaker Universalist Fellowship, and also to take part in a poetry workshop led by Paul Lacy, retired professor of English from Earlham College. Paul is lover of poetry and a friend of poets--and one of the wisest, funniest, most compassionate teachers I've ever known. His easygoing style makes sharing poetry a joy, and the class was full of delightful poetry lovers, mostly moms with college-age kids who had lots of interesting life experiences and poetry experiences to share.

We read William Stafford, Donald Hall, and Jane Kenyon--three poets who speak to my condition as a Friend.

Jane died of cancer at a relatively young age, 48, and left behind some very moving poetry, including "Let Evening Come," which was featured in the film In Her Shoes, in a scene where the character played by Cameron Diaz reads the poem to a blind nursing home resident. I am including it here for you to read and enjoy.

During one of the workshop sessions, Paul asked us to write a poem about joy and a place. This is the poem that came to me:

From your window in ICU

(for kathleen)

From your window in ICU
you could see only the dry river bed
but you joyfully imagined
where it led towards the blue mountains
and the rocky paths where you loved to walk
amidst the pale green chaparral

What a celebration it was
when those who were reborn
as stem cell survivors gathered
joyously at the City of Hope

Thousands of them, with their loved ones
caregivers, doctors, nurses--some of them dancing
some simply standing up or sitting down
miraculously, self-consciously alive
with buttons proclaiming their age:one year, five years, twenty years old.

My button said, “One day….”

On the day you had your transplant
I brought you a balloon
to celebrate our re-birthday
our new life about to begin
And now in my mind I release that balloon
once again and let it float away
dancing in the air with a kind of wild joy
towards those blue mountains
where you yearned to go

When I read this poem to the group, I couldn't hold back the tears, and neither could Paul. Paul's son, age 41, was killed last summer when a cement truck crashed into his car. Paul is still grieving. And how could a father not grieve at such a loss?

I was reminded of the story told about a grieving woman and the Buddha. A poor peasant woman married a prince, but was unable to bear children for many years. People mocked her for being a loser: poor and childless, what a disgraceful wife for a great prince! Finally, she became pregnant and was overjoyed. She would finally be able to prove to herself and the world that she was a worthy wife. She imagined with joy and pride what a fine son she would bear the prince--the finest son in the entire kingdom! Sadly, her son was still-born. When the woman learned this news, she became insane with grief. She carried her dead baby around with her and refused to admit it was dead. People were afraid she had completely lost her mind, so they advised her to see the Buddha. She went to the Buddha, hoping he could revive her baby by some sort of magic. The Buddha listened to her sad tale, and then gave her a mustard seed.

"Take this mustard seed and go to every house you can find," he said. "When you find a household where no one has lost a loved one, give them the mustard seed and come back to me. I will help you."

The woman went from house to house with her mustard seed, and after a year she returned to the Buddha. She still had the mustard seed.

"How can I help you?" asked the Buddha.

"I want to be your student," the woman replied, and Buddha smiled the sad, peaceful smile of one who is acquainted with grief. In the course of her journey, the woman had come to realize the first Noble Truth of Buddhism. Life is suffering. Realizing this truth is the first step towards Enlightenment.

As I discovered in this class of poetry lovers, we all have deep sorrows and we all need consolation. The word "consolation" means "being alone together"-- a beautiful way to describe how we can help each other to heal simply by sharing our pain and grief. Poetry can help us to get in touch with our deep feelings and to recognize we are not alone. It is by accepting our suffering and transforming it that we become fully human.

Jane Kenyon wrote this beautiful poem of consolation to remind us we are never alone:

Let Evening Come

by Jane Kenyon

Let the light of late afternoon
shine through chinks in the barn, moving
up the bales as the sun moves down.

Let the cricket take up chafing
as a woman takes up her needles and her yarn.
Let evening come.

Let dew collect on the hoe abandoned
in long grass. Let the stars appear
and the moon disclose her silver horn.

Let the fox go back to its sandy den.
Let the wind die down. Let the shed
go black inside. Let evening come.

To the bottle in the ditch, to the scoop
in the oats, to air in the lung
let evening come.

Let it come, as it will, and don't
be afraid. God does not leave us
comfortless, so let evening come. .

*********************

Yes, evening is coming and as Jesus said: "When night cometh, no one can work." Before evening comes, let's do what we can to spread Love in the world. This is the work that really matters....

I feel blessed to be able to carry on the work that Kathleen beautifully embodied in her life. And I'd love to hear what you are doing, so please stay in touch.

Current Quaker books....

While waiting for Friends General Conference (FGC) Central Meeting and the Christian and Interfaith Relations Committee session to begin this weekend, I've been trekking to Philly to spend time at the Quakerbook store at FGC and explored the latest in Quaker publishing. Here are some of the treasures I uncovered. They are listed in order of preference:

1) Spirit Rising: Young Quaker Voices (QUIP: FGC Press, Philadelphia PA, 2010). pp. 354, $17.50. This is the second book by Young Friends. that Quakers United in Publishing (QUIP) has sponsored. The first tilted towards unprogrammed, liberal Friends, but the current volume (a big, sprawling tome of 350+ pages) is much more inclusive. I've never seen any book that captures so vividly the amazing diversity and energy of the world-wide Quaker community--Evangelical, liberal, Christ-centered, non-theist, post-modernist--with a global reach that embraces Latin America, Africa and India as well as North America and the UK. The quality of writing is very uneven, but even poorly written entries are revealing and enhance one's understanding of contemporary Quakerism. Some of the entries are in Spanish (with English translations), since huge numbers of Evangelical Quakers reside in Latin America, and especially in Bolivia. This book is a delightful read--well worth time spent dipping into and also exploring in depth.

2) Quakers and the Search for Peace. Edited by Sharon Hoover. Friends Publishing Corp.: Philadelphia, PA: 2010. pp. 155. $16.00. This is a compilation of some of the best articles on peace that have appeared in Friends Journal over the past 50 years, although focusing on the more recent. Its themes include: Seeking Peace in Home and School, Seeking Peace in the Community, Seeking Peace in Prisons, Seeking Peace in Wartime, and Seeking Peace through an Artistic Lens. What is impressive about this collection is its broad range and its recognition that the Peace Testimony isn't just about opposing war, it's about manifesting peace and justice in every aspect of our lives. It begins with practical articles for parents, including what to do about ROTC or when your daughter wants to march in a Veterans' Day parade with the Bluebirds. It includes such nitty-gritty challenges, such as how do you, as a Quaker, respond to a mugging? There are articles on war tax resistance, AVP work in prisons, conscientious objection, and even using art and poetry to create visions of peace. I was pleased to see my piece on interfaith peacemaking included in this multifaceted collection of testimonies by Friends who are seeking to live "in the life and spirit that takes away the occasion of war."

3) Writing Cheerfully on the Web: A Quaker Blog Reader. Edited by Elizabeth A. Oppenheimer. 2009. pp. 273. $19.95. For those who prefer books to the internet, this is an excellent intro to Quaker blogging (for those totally unfamiliar with the internet: a blog is a web journal, a personal op ed, similar to a column in a newspaper). This compendium is also useful for those who haven't had time to keep up with Quaker blogs and are curious about what's been happening in the Quaker blogosphere over the past few years. The voices of Quaker bloggers like Liz Oppenheimer, Marin Kelley, Peggy Parson, Peterson Toscano et al carry a vibrancy and freshness that is sometimes lacking in the more carefully vetted print versions of Quakerism. Blogs tend to be short, personal, and pithy, and sometimes irreverent. Take the opening of Peterson Toscano's essay on ministry called the "M Word": "No, this is not a reference to a TV show about meterosexual men. The M word as in Ministry." A great way for a stand up comic to talk about discovering that comedy can be a form of ministry. The section on "Convergent Friends" helps clarify this much discussed term describing an internet-inspired "movement" of Conservative and liberal Friends who have been meeting virtually and face-to-face to have dialogue and build connections. Ranters, pagans, non-theists, and Christ-centered Friends of all flavors share their stories in real time via blogs. Like Spirit Rising, this is essential reading for anyone interested in the vitality and diversity of contemporary Quakerism.

4) If the Church Were Christian: Rediscovering the Values of Jesus. Phillip Gulley, author of If Grace Is True. Phil Gulley is a Quaker pastor from the Indiana who loves the teachings of Jesus so much he is willing to point out the shortcomings of those who profess to be his followers. (He doesn't spare himself.) Gulley writes with gentle humor, common sense and keen insight, calling for Christians to be faithful to Jesus' gospel of love and forgiveness. His open and affirming approach to Christianity has made him unpopular with the conservatives in Friends United Meeting; He even received hate mail from Friends when he wrote a book claiming that God would "save" everyone--gays, straights, even non-believers--through the power of Infinite Love and Goodness. Gulley is a delight to read since he has a wonderful gift for storytelling and anecdotes (he has published many popular books in which he writes about his midwestern Quaker church with the same wry humor that Garrison Keillor uses to describe the happenings of Lake Woebegon, Minnesota). In 2010 Gulley was invited by Quaker Universalist Fellowship to give the Elizabeth Watson Lecture at the Friends General Conference gatheringr--a sign that what Gulley has to say is truly universal. I recommend this book for anyone who wants to understand what liberal, self-critical, universalist Christianity is all about.

5) Heaven in the Midst of Hell: A Quaker Chaplain's View of the War in Iraq. Stories and Photographs by Commander Sheri Snively, D. Min., CHC, USNR. Raven Oaks Press: San Diego, CA, 2010. pp. 269, with many full-color illustrations. $26.95. Sheri Snively is a Quaker chaplain who loves American soldiers (her "daddy" was a military man) and feels deep compassion for the Iraqi people who are the victims of war. She describes what it's like to be at the bedside of an American soldier whose spine has been irreparably damaged and will live the rest of his life as a paraplegic. She shares her anguish in trying to console an Iraqi mother, one of whose sons has been killed, and another critically wounded. Sitting with this grieving mother who beats her chest and cries out "Allah, allah," Snively feels "helpless and horrified." When the mother's second son Mohammad dies, Snively asks: "Does anyone notice or care? A few did.... He shouldn't have to die in vain.... But what does that mean?" Asking questions like this is as close as Snively comes to questioning the war in Iraq. She focuses instead on the poignant moments, especially those in which soldiers show their humanity (like sticking chocolate in the pockets in Mohammad's sister). Snively's theology is upbeat and positive; she understands Jesus as a healer, but not as a prophet. Her book is full of evocative snapshots and moving vignettes that remind us that even in the midst of war's horrors, there are good people and blessed moments. Those looking for a critique of war, or any sense of outrage at war's stupidities and horrors, will be disappointed by this book. Snively seems to regard war as a natural disaster or an act of God, like an earthquake or tsunami, rather than as a man-made catastrophe deserving of critical reflection. Towards the end of this book, Snively describes going to an anti-war rally wearing her "Camp Ar-Ramadi Iraq 2006' sweatshirt because she was "proud to have been there.... and not afraid to let people know." She sees her as a kind of peace activist, and she is welcomed by the protestors. She joins some of them for dinner and tells them war stories, and they listen sympathetically. I'm sure they felt as I do. It is good to know that kind, compassionate people like Sheri Snively are serving as chaplains. It would be even better if our troops came home and there was no longer any need for people like her to give comfort to those whose hopes and dreams have been shattered by the hellish horrors of war. (See also http://atwar.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/05/10/a-pacifist-chaplains-soul-searching-tour-of-war/)

6) Interfaith Dialogue at the Grass Roots, ed. by Rebecca Kratz Mays. Ecumenical Press: Philadelphia, PA., 2008. pp 131. $15.00. Rebecca Mays is a Quaker teacher and editor who ran the publications program at Pendle Hill for many years and has given workshops on spirituality with a Marcia Praeger, a Jewish renewal rabbi. This fine collection of essays on grassroots interfaith work was put together as a special issue for The Journal of Ecumenical Studies and explores interreligious dialogue/conversation from an Abrahamic perspective, i.e. Jewish, Christian and Muslim. I highly recommend this book as a thoughtful and helpful introduction to interfaith dialogue from both a practical and theological standpoint.

6) The Wisdom to Know the Difference: When to Make a Change--and When to Let Go. Eileen Flanagan. Jeremy P. Tarcher/Penguin: NY, 2009, rpt. in paperback 2010. pp. 272. $19.95. Flanagn writes Quaker self-help books that are popular and highly readable. This book is based on the Serenity Prayer ("Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can change, and wisdom to know the difference"); and it comes with this blurb from the Dalai Lama: "The Wisdom to Know the Difference is about being able to change. What is important is that we can change and transform ourselves into better, happier people." Who can argue with the Dalai Lama, or an author who can convince him to write a blurb on her behalf? I'm actually very pleased that a Quaker author can write a book so readable it can find a niche in this highly competitive market. Flanagan doesn't hide her Quakerism, either. She uses queries and discusses clearness committees and pervades her book with Quaker values, while at the same time affirming the truth in other faiths, from Roman Catholicism to Buddhism. I am glad to join the Dalai Lama in recommending this book to people of all faiths, not just my own little circle of Friends.

7) A Lasting Gift: The Journal and Selected Writings of Sandra L. Cronk, edited by Martha Paxson Grundy, forward by Parker J. Palmer. FGC: Philadelphia, 2009. Sandra Cronk. A sensitive, thoughtful seeker and teacher, Sondra Cronk taught at Pendle Hill for many years and wrote two slender pamphlets: "Peace Be with You: A Study of the Spiritual Basis of the Friends Peace Testimony" and "Gospel Order: A Quaker Understanding of Faithful Church Community" (PH Pamphlet 297). Despite poor health, which caused her much physical and mental pain, Sandra lived a rich spiritual life, earned a doctorate in divinity from the University of Chicago, and made an important contribution to Quaker spirituality. Among other things, she helped to launch the School of the Spirit, a program that helps Friends to deepen their spiritual lives and become spiritual directors. This book charts Sondra's life, with passages from her notebooks and other writings. For those interested in deepening their spiritual lives, this is an invaluable resource. As Deborah Shaw writes, "[Cronk's] hard-won wisdom speaks to us, through the testimony of a life centered in prayer and lived in Christ."

8) Imaginary Friends: Representing Quakers in American Culture (1650-1950). James Emmett Ryan. The University of Wisconsin Press: Madison, 2009. pp. 285, with illustrations. $26.95. This erudite tome explores with subtlety and depth the diverse ways that Quakers have been portrayed in books, art, and movies. I would highly recommend this book to scholars, but the general reader will probably find most of it too dense to be enjoyable. This is regrettable since there is enough material here to make a fascinating book, if it were written in a more readable style.

Vacation in poetry land

Having a wonderful time at Pendle Hill. Wish you were here. I'm taking a class on poetry with Paul Lacy, retired prof of English from Earlham College--a lover of poetry and a friend of poets--and one of the wisest, funniest, most compassionate teachers I've ever known. His easygoing style makes sharing poetry a joy, like a vacation in a place you've always wanted to visit, and when you finally get there, it's even better than what you imagined. The class is full of delightful poetry lovers, mostly moms with college-age kids who have lots of interesting life experiences and poetry experiences to share. We are reading William Stafford, Donald Hall, and Jane Kenyon--three poets who speak to my condition as a Friend.

What I did on my vacation (it's a lie)

For Paul Lacy
whose life work is a vacation in poetry land
(and who gave the assigment: "what I did on my vacation... you must lie about it....")

I went on vacation to a land
where only poetry is spoken
where every voice hovers on the edge of song
where trips down memory lane are always filled with surprises:
a field of dead horses like bulbs ready to sprout into amazing flowers
or the nagging, heart-rending questioning of a child who asks and asks:
why did Daddy have to cut this tree?
Why, grandma, why?
and every story has a point,
though not necessarily a sharp one
where young men and women are not afraid to show passion
where old men and women are not ashamed to show tears
and there is no need to escape from the mundane or the eternal
there is no check in or check out time
in fact, no time at all
whatever the weather is, we find it beautiful
clear skies, snowstorms, tornadoes, squalls,
and the hot, sultry summer days that never end
the ever-changing weather of the soul
is always interesting, always worth a poem
something we can bring home as a souvenir
and share with friends, even the ones who hate poetry,
and they will say, “Wow!”

What kind of poem is this?

Some poems fly off the page
and light on your shoulder like lorakeets
and demand your attention

others perch on the side of cliffs
unreachable, mysterious

some soar in the sky far out to sea,
like an albatross

some appear in familiar places,

like sparrows,abundantly alive

others require that you travel great distances
after painstaking preparation, so that you can catch a glimpse
a flash of breathtaking plumage
what kind of poem is this?
It isn't a poem, it's an egg
what it becomes
depends on you

the chaplain and the tell-tale heart

(for lizzy beasley)

when she walked into the room
she saw to her horror it was too late
the pale, waxen face, the stiff, unmoving body
was not what filled her with terror
it was the cadence of his heart beating
thumpity thumpity thump
she could feel it in her feet, her whole body shook
with the sound of it
and she saw it—a red, throbbing heart,
hooked to a vast and complicated machine
next to his bedand she thought of his family and shuddered
and felt deep sadness
and her heart began to beat more rapidly
uncontrollably and she almost panicked
then words came, words she knew by heart:
“so that now to still the beating of his heart
he stood repeating,tis some late night visitor entreating
entrance at his chamber door
that it is and nothing more....”
she smiled, relaxed: "that it is and nothing more.
nothing more."


From your window in ICU

(for kathleen)

From your window in ICU
you could see only the dry river bed
but you joyfully imagined
where it led towards the blue mountains
and the rocky paths where you loved to walk
qmidst the pale green chapparal
What a celebration it was
when those who were reborn
as stem cell survivors gathered
joyously at the City of Hope
Thousands of them, with their loved ones
caregivers, doctors, nurses--some of them dancing
some simply standing up or sitting down
miraculously, self-consciously alive
with buttons proclaiming their age:
one year, five years, twenty years old.
My button said, “One day….”
On the day you had your transplant
I brought you a balloon
to celebrate our re-birthday
our new life about to begin
And now in my mind I release that balloon
once again
and let it float away
dancing in the air with a kind of wild joy
towards those blue mountains
where you yearned to go



closing circle at pendle hill

at close of day, just before bedtime,
a circle of Friends sits and reflects
on a bowl of autumn leaves
so vibrantly colored they don't seem real,
and listens to poems we have known for years
read by an aging English couple
slowly, deeply like the echoes in a well
the mournful choir of gnats....the wild swans of Coole....
familiar words, yet able to surprise us still
to charm into stillness with their old magic
but then a deeper magic
surprisingly appears
amidst these gray heads and fallen leaves
i think with gratitude
of You, a flower
unfolding its pale pink petals
against the endless blue
horizon of your eyes
in the warm, throbbing
springtime of my astonished heart