It seems appropriate that I first met Donna on Mother’s Day, three weeks after I met Jill at the Palm Sunday Peace Parade in Pasadena fourteen years ago. Donna was for me like a second mother, and this is a role she played for many others. She was one of the most loving, supportive, and fun people I’ve ever met.
I’ll never forget our first lunch in Costa Mesa. It lasted for several hours. Donna, Jana, Jill and I talked, laughed and had a blast together. It was a foretaste of many fun lunches and dinners I had over the years with Donna and her family.
Jill and I usually spent our holidays with Donna in her beautiful shell cottage in Shell Beach. It was only a short walk to the beach, but walking with Donna from her cottage to the beach usually took a long time since she’d stop and talk with neighbors along the way. Like Jill, Donna took to heart Jesus’ command to “love your neighbor.” She loved her neighbors, and they loved her. At Christmas time we would go out and sing carols to her neighbors and had a blast.
We took Donna on trips to San Francisco, San Diego, Ojai, Hearst Castle and other places, and she was an enthusiastic traveler. I remember once when we were in San Diego, we went inside a Russian submarine and Donna was the only 80-year-old to crawl through its cramped quarters. Donna loved adventure!
She also loved dancing. We had a blast dancing together in her kitchen. Even when she was bed-ridden and unable to speak coherently because of late stage Alzheimer’s, I would take both her hands and we’d dance together to old—time big band music and her feet would tap along to the jazz rhythms.
We sang her songs like “My Girl” by the Temptations (using Donna’s name), “Donna” by Richie Valens, and her favorite, “Dancing Cheek to Cheek.” She especially loved it when I would press my check against her and we’d laugh together.
Donna loved to flirt, even when bedridden. When I would visit, I’d often say, “You look beautiful today.” She’d bat her eyes and say, “I do?”
Donna always loved to have fun. I have precious memories of going with her to a bar called Harry’s in Pismo Beach. She always dressed to the 9’s to go out and young men often came up to her to ask to dance. One even kissed her hand unsolicited and called her a goddess. She was like a guy magnet. On one weekend we went to Charlie Puffer’s Wine Bar as well as to Harry’s and five men kissed her hand and forehead on one night. How often does this happen to women pushing 90 years old?
Donna loved playing pool, as do I, so when we went to Harry’s to place, I would wrap my arms around her and help her guide the cue stick. When she made a shot in a pocket, everyone in the bar would cheer.
As you know, Donna loved beauty and art. Her watercolors are full of joy and exuberance. Like Frida Kahlo, Donna made her whole life a work of art—her clothes, her home, and her artwork all reflected her deep love of beauty.
Our home is filled not only with her art work but also with antique furniture and some of her shell collection from Shell Cottage. I often feel her presence in these things that meant so much to her. She left behind such a beautiful legacy. She saw beauty not only in nature and everyday things, but also in people. She loved God, went to church and was a strong Christian, but didn’t talk a lot about religion. She didn’t need to. She lived the Gospel of Love. When you were around Donna, she made you feel you were loved and important to her. She will always live in my heart
