Monday, October 30, 2023

How to Make Sure the Bedbugs Don't Bite (and a poem about Bed bugs)

 


Having recovered from our month-long bed bug infestation, I'm finding others who went though a similar experience of feeling traumatized. When you have bedbugs, you not only suffer from sleepless nights, you also become socially isolated. You can't have people in your home. You can't visit other people (lest you bring bedbugs with you). It's deeply disturbing psychologically as well as physically unpleasant, especially if you are hyper allergic like me. Thirty percent of people aren't affected by bed bugs (my wife is one of these), but they can carry bed bugs to other people's homes since bed bugs like to hitchhike on clothes, luggage and handbags.

So here are some lessons learned: 

1) When you discover you have bedbugs, deal with the problem immediately and don't try to get rid of them yourself. You'll probably make it worse. Hire a professional asap, preferably one with excellent credentials and recommendations who can provide all three types of service: chemical treatment, heat treatment and fumigation. We highly recommend a company called Isotech Pest Management that provided a bed-bug sniffing canine as well as excellent advice and service. 

2) Chemical and heat treatment are not infallible, no matter what your exterminator says. Both require that you remove stuff from the room being treated. The trouble is bedbugs may be hiding in these items, so when you return them, the bed bugs return. However, if your infestation is limited, these treatments may work. 

3) The only infallible treatment is fumigation. The fumigants kills all bedbugs and eggs (and also termites). Fumigation means tenting your home.  It costs a small fortune but produces peace of mind. 

This week Jill and I went on a date and had veggie burgers and fries in Old Pasadena, and compose this "Little Bad Bed Bug Saga." It was good to be able to look back and laugh. We are finally beginning to heal from our bed bug nightmare.

"The Saga of the Little Bad Bed Bugs"

The first night after returning from Greece
We hoped to spend time sleeping in peace
But bedbugs invaded while we were away
Their message was clear: we’re here to stay!
They gave sweet Anthony 40 plus bites
As well as a month of restless nights.

These bugs for some reason disliked Jill’s taste
So she worked super hard to clean up our place.

When bed bugs bite, you can’t have a good night:
Going to bed makes you very uptight.
So we hired an exterminator who promised to kill
These irksome pests who hide where they will.

We were told to take everything from our humble abode
Wash our clothes and our blankets, load by load by load……
Bedbugs expire when the heat is too high.
So we put some stuff in the dryer to fry
Those bad little bugs ‘til they finally die.

In black plastic bags we put other stuff
Hoping the sun's rays would be enough.
But the days were too chilly so this work was in vain.
Finding stuff later was really a pain!

Jill was exhausted past reason or rhyme
Anthony was the canary in the coal mine.
With daily bites he’d let us know
Those bedbugs had no plans to go.
Weary and anxious and living in fear,
We never knew if the bedbugs were near.

So we hired a beagle with an amazing nose
That knows 10,000 times more than a human nose knows!
Rocky could tell where the bedbugs were hiding
and even could sniff where their eggs were abiding.

We learned that our efforts were on the wrong track.
We needed to try a different tack.
We learned from Isotech that fumigation
Was the only cure for our grim situation.

To make room for the tent, we had to clear
Around the perimeter front and rear.
So we hired Walter, a human machine
Who worked harder than anyone we’d ever seen
He gathered up 35 bags of yard waste.
It cost us a bundle to clean up our place!

Then our water heater went on the fritz.
We bought needed tires! We were having fits!

For four nights we lived in an Airbnb,
And boarded our cats in a place of safety,
while the fumigant wiped out our bug colony.

We spent a small fortune to be bed bug free
And it seemed to take an eternity.

After fumigation, we spent many days
Unpacking our bags in a kind of a daze.

It feels good to have our old lives back
But our bodies take time to learn to relax.

On a happy note our long saga ends:
We can finally hang out in our home with our friends!
Free at last! Free at last! Free of bed bugs at last!
Celebrating with friends will be such a blast!




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